One Year Ago Today

One year ago today...

I was sitting here thinking about what I was doing one year ago today. The vivid thought of me standing in the middle of my room at the compound pathetically weeping came to mind. I found myself there at the end of a long day...a very long, hard day.

The nights were getting longer each night. The generators were no longer working and we had no a/c at night, but had to sleep with the windows closed to keep the bugs out. Very hot, and we didn't sleep well. That morning was a blur...i know that we were waiting to see if we would get the papers from the Consular, and see if we could leave earlier than expected. We eventually got the go ahead and made the arrangements. The novelty was starting to wear off and the stress was starting to take hold of me. My "keeping it together" was starting to wear off when I thought we were going home sooner than expected.

I remember meeting with their family. It was an experience that I just can't and haven't been able to accurately describe, even to this day. Maybe I never will. You stare into the face of these children's mother and promise them a better life. You are taking their babies...and she is giving them up. They were all very unemotional, but that doesn't mean their mom especially wasn't being crushed inside. The words of Willette will forever echo in my head, "Give the lady back her child." She said this to their mom in reference to give Kb back to me after a hug. Ugh...my heartstrings were tugged.

So they sat there on the steps of the compound all day. They walked there from miles away. I just kept thinking, how are they going to walk away? How do you say goodbye? Then it turned to trying to gain as much information from them as I could, so that in years to come I could give Kp and Kb as much information about their past as I could. Just a stressful day.

Then the fevers came.

As we were sitting on the steps, Kp and Kb were acting strange. At first I thought it was because of their family being there, but when I picked Kp up, she was burning up. We had them say their goodbyes...as best as could be done, and took them to our room. Now what? We were in a foreign country with no reliable hospitals. I was not letting anyone stick anything into them. But what did they have, how do I fix it? I knew it wasn't anything like my kids would have a home: a fever cause of a cold. I wanted to be home. I wanted the comforts of home...a doctor or an ER with reliable services that didn't demand cash payments up front. I flipped out. (I will interject here that there were several "issues" with us/other families along the way, and I kept my cool. But these were MY kids and they were burning up faster than I had ever see kids get sick!)

We eventually found the lady who ran the compound. She called a pediatrician friend of hers who came TO the compound. Malaria. Which I figured at some point was what they had. She gave them each a huge shot, and gave us a slip of paper to tell us what to get from the "pharmacy" the next day. Praises sent up to God for providing a doctor!!!!

Then it turned to ... will they let us on the plane??? We have to get the kids to "act" normal. We NEED, I need to be on that plane. God has never given me more than I could handle, so I knew He would get me on that plane because I could "handle" no more...

All flights (the 3 per week!) that leave, leave at night, so we had a good 24 hours to let the kids rest and prepare to leave. Their little bodies are so resilient. They were back to "normal" by mid afternoon the next day. Unfortunately...trying to calculate 3 more shots, 24 hours apart, through several time zones, left for some interesting situations. But we were home, 2 days later - one week sooner than planned.

Bottom line? I didn't think I could handle any more that day one year ago. But GOD, had planned it all out for me, and there was no need to worry or stress...he was caring for me in my time of need!