I was braiding
Kp's hair last night and got into an interesting
conversation with both her and
Sa that I wanted to post it. We were watching the Muppet's Christmas Carol, and the Ghost of Christmas Future (?) came on and we started talking about people dying. So here is the conversation that followed:
Me: Did you both see lots of people die in _____?
Sa: Do people die here?
Me: Yes.
Sa: Yes, in _____, too. Really only during the war.
Me: What do they do with the bodies in ______?
Sa: They bury them. Some times they put stuff with them, some people even put money.
Me: Why do they put money with them?
Kp: For the police. ( I think she was feeling left out of the conversation and wanted something to say, so made something up!)
Sa: When they are dead they don't need them money! They should give it to me!
Me: Do they get buried in the ground?
Sa: Yes, but we dig
big holes. (this is the point at which
Sa and I began a huge miscommunication)
Me: You mean for more than one person at a time?
Sa: No, we just dig big holes in _____.
Me: Do you put them in a box first?
Sa: Yes, a big box, not like the ones here. (I was trying to figure out how big this box was)
Me: You mean a
casket? Have you seen a funeral here?
Sa: No.
---I went on briefly to explain our rituals of
burring our dead---
Sa: Why do you have such a small hole?
Me:
Sa, did you see an urn?
Sa: Yes. Why do they have them upright? (He didn't say 'upright' but through a series of motions I knew what he meant)
Me: OK - well that is when...(explain cremation)...but we don't bury them. They usually sit in someones house. They look like a pretty vase that you'd put flowers in, but there are no flowers and there is a lid. (I demonstrated the size)
Sa: No. I didn't see it (glad I asked first if he'd seen one?????
Could've spared them the details of cremation! What is he talking about upright then? And a big box???)
Me: What did you see? Can you show me how big the thing you saw was? (He pointed to the ottoman - BINGO!) That is a gravestone!
Sa: How do you get people in there?
Me: They are not in there. (Fighting back laughter cause I didn't want to offend him)
Sa: (He looked at me like I was crazy, cause he convinced himself that we put our dead inside the grave
stone!)
Me: I promise. They are buried like 6 feet under the gravestone. The gravestone just marks the name of the person who was under it. The person in NOT in the gravestone! We do dig holes, big holes, then cover them over, then put the gravestone on top of that!
Sa: (Still a look of disbelief)
Me: Do you know where your mother was buried?
Sa: Yes, in the bush.
Me: But do you know where?
Sa: No, they didn't put and stones to mark it.
(Then I thought how sad not to know where you mother was buried - but to him it wasn't a big deal, he totally understands that it is just a body and the spirit goes to either heaven or hell.)
Me: So, do you believe me about the gravestone?
Sa: (A sheepish grin which usually means - no.)
As our conversation continued, I realized that he had seen the
cemeteries and formulated in his own mind what it was, and no talking I did was going to convince him otherwise. It also showed me that we put a lot of money into marking where we were buried, and really what does it matter? Once people are dead and gone they are not really there. I am sure that it is a comfort that we think we need, but this boy has a comfort (as millions across the world), and they have no idea where loved ones are buried! There is more concern as to where the body lay than where the spirit went!
It is just amazing though, that he came to the conclusion that we put our dead in those little stones! I guess we are all going to have to make a trip to the
cemetery for some explaining! Fun!
